Sheri is my mom’s bf and coworker. For years I have heard how amazing and how adventurous she is. Every word was true. Sheri is a woman who has values and knows her value. I have loved getting to know her through GOTG activities. Now I know why my mom loves her so much. She is fabulous!
I grew up as the youngest of 6 children. A belief that I held in my childhood was that I needed to fight for attention. That felt that I was unwanted and unloved. This carried over into adulthood and into a marriage that was unhealthy. This situation created more self-destructive beliefs about who I was. I believed that I was hard to be around and unlovable. I believed there was nothing special about me at all. I ended up in a divorce that was a roller coaster ride. I started dating and this was a train wreck. One thing I did gain from dating is that I did have qualities that were at least likable. I learned through so many years of self-doubt and self-disapproval that I was unable to love myself. This caused me some serious self-reflection. I am very skilled in self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy.
I am a professional at self-reflection. I like to examine every story that I find bouncing around in my head. This can be both good and bad. Through self-reflection, I have learned some habits of self-compassion. I ask myself- Is this true? Then I reflect on how the story that is my head is from my perspective. Did this person intentionally think “how can I make Sheri’s life horrible?” And the answer is always no. They have their own story. This process is something that I ask about myself as well. Did I intentionally hurt myself or others? And the answer is always no. Do I know better now? Was I doing the best I could with the knowledge I had at the time? This helps me from feeling shame or disappointed in myself. This is a practice I DO EVERYDAY. How can I use the experience to learn and grow? When I ponder truths that I know about myself, such as I am a divine daughter of God and I was created with special talents that I need to create a life full of love and compassion for myself and others. That I am sent to earth to fulfill a purpose that only I can fulfill. When I think about these things I am able to process the frustrations of life. Sometimes when thoughts come into my head I ask myself is this true? And when it is not, I visualize the thought on a conveyor belt and tell myself “It was just a thought it is not your truth” This helps me be more compassionate with myself and others.
When I went on the retreat with Get out their girl, I expected to be the uncool and socially awkward one in the group. After meeting and being around all the women at the retreat I realized that we are all the same. We all feel insecure at times. I was blessed to get to know and be around such a fun group. I felt love and acceptance from each of them individually and as a whole group. I will continue to work on my self-compassion every day until I am a self-compassion, self-love guru.